I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize