The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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