Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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