First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
