Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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