May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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