Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
