do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize