Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
