god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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