if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
