i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
