Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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