Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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