Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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