make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
