Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize