Cold hands, warm shart.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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