dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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