I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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