I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
