I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
