I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize