Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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