how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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