I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
