you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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