why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
