based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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