Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
...so i touched it.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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