it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
