Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Small penises have feelings too.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
