I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
