That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
