Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize