some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
