Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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