Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
