Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
