Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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