dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
