I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
