blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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