Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

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(319): View more from Iowa

he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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(315): View more from New York

she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot

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(732): View more from New Jersey

found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year

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(914): View more from New York

this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

(845): View more from New York

you are a goddess

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(216): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?

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