just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
