Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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