my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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