roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
