She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize