you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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