he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
