Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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