How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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