hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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