if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
