The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
