There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
