I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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