Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
