We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
