My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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