As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
