now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
