i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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