Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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