And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
