They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
